by Dr. Thomas Keister

I'm sure most of you are familiar with the expression "the screwing you're getting isn't worth the fucking you're taking." Finally, a true contemporary definition for that phrase. It seems there was a happy ending after all in the Wall Street bailout. The only problem, it was apparently the cost of these happy endings that got piled on the tab.

Ain't that something? Now, for generations to come, me, you, your children, my children, all the grandchildren and so forth...we have all now officially paid for a sex act, if the rumors prove to be true. Even worse, we all paid for sex acts and got nothing out of the deal other than weeks of back and forth bullshit leading up to and as we are finding out, well beyond the bailout. If that isn't getting screwed, I don't rightly know what is.

Kristin Davis, the former madam of a high-price call girl outift, sat for an interview with 20/20, which will air later this week in light of her recent book release, claimed to have as clients investment bankers with several top firms, such as JPMorgan, Goldman Sachs, Merrill Lynch, and Lehman Brothers, along with media executives, the part-owner of a Major League Baseball franchise, and, predictably enough, former New York Governor Elliot Spitzer. The rub, so to speak, is Davis' assertion that she billed many of these clients to their corporate credit cards.

Yep, because if these so-called masters of the universe used corporate plastic to get a pants-down spanking from a giggly Asian chick in a schoolgirl outfit (who's really a grad student at NYU trying to stay ahead of a student loan), then the big ass bailout done took care of that for them. Davis says she disguised payments for sex as bills for computer consultancy, construction expenses, and other miscellaneous things.

Davis, who was convicted of promoting prostitution and sentenced to time served, also claims to have offered the Manhattan District Attorney's Office evidence against her clients, but the office declined to look into the information. Somewhat predictably, none of the banks mentioned or the Manhattan D.A.'s office commented or responded to a request for comment.

How can anyone even feign surprise at this point? Hell, nothing was done about Citigroup's $400 million deal to name the newly built and already rusting home of the New York Mets, so what's a couple of blowjobs here and there? We have done jack to the companies we gave money to, even though they were building houses of cards while the wind was picking, yet no one has explained how this was supposed to help. I can't possibly be the only person who needs a freakin ibuprofen after reading about this crap for so long. Or a donut pillow, depending on where the pain centralizes.

by Dr. Thomas Keister

Yeah, it's starting to look like it's going to be that kind of honeymoon for President Obama. The stimulus plan, the main event of political hype in the nation, is starting to lose momentum for the Democrats, with poll numbers at 37 percent, down from 45 percent a couple of weeks ago. The dissatisfaction is growing due to the back-and-forth being played out on Capitol Hill, as well as too little being said as to how this plan is going to help anyone who actually needs the help. Me? I'm no expert, but I'm still hoping to hear something a little more substantial than "tax cuts and big-ass spending packages." Maybe something about helping the housing market, rather than funding a fresh round of bonuses and casino junkets. Republicans said they were ideologically opposed to the bill, although I doubt I'm alone in wondering how much clout the GOP's ideology still carries. So there you go.

Of course, there was the sudden backlash against Wall Street interests, as Sen. Claire McCaskell and President Obama both took turns sniping at the top alledged business heads. This led to Obama cracking the whip, demanding that companies that accept bailout money pay their chief executives only $500,000 a year. Still not bad money to sit around and pretend like you know what the hell you're doing. The fact that Ford declined a bailout just tells me they saw the writing on the wall, as Alan Mullaly is now free and clear to pull down his $20+ million salary to apparently finish tentspiking the company into the ground.

Other companies may have seen this on the horizon, but were already powerless to prevent it. Take Goldman Sachs, for example, whose CFO, David Viniar said the company is out to avoid the restrictions it agreed to upon receiving $10 billion in TARP funds, and is looking into ways to repay the money by the end of 2009. So let me get this straight...they aren't happy with the terms of the deal. Boo freakin hoo with that...you got $10 billion, pretty much to do whatever with apparently, you didn't even have to kill anybody...what the hell is the problem, other than having to pay it back at all? Viniar said "we would like to get out from under that," in reference to compensation restrictions and other requirements, and that may just be the front-runner for most ironic fucking thing ever said by a top bank executive.

Then again, this is how it goes...you even have CEOs running amok, talking a plate full of smack about the "perks" that President Obama receives as President, without paying taxes on. Yeah, for some guy making eight figures to bitch about the perks of a $400 grand a year job...these are great times, if you are as cynical as I am. Where was all the bitching about these very same perks when the last guy was still in office? Just because you don't have the President in your pocket anymore, you don't have to be all blatant about getting slapped on the wrists for taking a big stack of taxpayer monies.

How many weeks, I wonder, before Obama starts looking like his honeymoon is already out of quarters before he gets the hang of the vibrating bed...

by FreeReinMedia.com staff

Join Dr. Thomas Keister and his intrepid sidekick, "The Internet Legend" ppdingles live tonight for another all-new Probably Uncalled For, as they will be tearing into the new head of the RNC, Gordon Ramsey thinkin' he's so fucking special, the ongoing debate over the stimulus package, the adult entertainment flashed to Tuscon, Arizona during last Sunday's Super Bowl, and other topics to be determined...come find out what the world is listening to...

8:00pm Eastern/5:00pm Pacific

Click here for our live broadcast!



 

by ppdingles

Miley Cyrus says her mom's black Porsche, which she inherited around her 16th birthday, was driving her crazy.
So she ditched it for a new set of wheels.

"I didn't like it 'cause it was bad for the environment, and it was too big," "My dad surprised me last night with a black Prius."

She likes it better because it's "good for the environment, and it's adorable!"

Well isn't that just fucking special.  The world is in a ecomonic crisis and these are the stories we have to make us feel better and start dancing with butterflies? I'm glad Miley just wasn't that much into the Porsche, hope it didn't hurt your reputation driving that big old car around Hollywood.

Just one more reason I hate TV and sites like TMZ because this kind of dog shit is commonplace and goes for legit news these days.

Thanks Miley...thanks for making me feel even more poor than I already did.

by Dr. Thomas Keister

Ok, let me get this straight...Gordon Ramsey, famously profane chef and reality show host, is in hot water in England after droppin the F-bomb "a record 132 times" on an episode of his two-hour show Ramsey's Great British Nightmare. Also notable in the episode was Ramsey smashing a $2000 flat-screen TV and two tables. Channel 4 has jumped to Ramsey's side in the controversy, issuing a statement saying “It was after the watershed. The swearing is a expression of Gordon’s passion.”

Ok. Fair enough. I'm the last person who is going to complain about profanity, when done for the right reasons. I have never watched an episode of anything Gordon Ramsey has ever hosted, and only know who he is through commercials, blog posts, and occasional appearances on The Soup about his various wacky cursing chef antics, but the people I see in the commercials look like they have all sorts of potential to be real damn stupid. I'd probably talk to them the same damn way, if they were goggling at my attempt to help them like a caveman would gaze upon a Zippo lighter.

What I gots to needs to has to find out is...that 132 F-bombs the British record or the World record? I mean, that's how News of the World reported it, a "record 132 times." That's it? That's possibly the world record? I think I can do that. I'm gonna have to do some checking on that...

by Dr. Thomas Keister

After watching how much of the last week went down for the Republicans, one gets the feeling someone needs to take them to a neutral corner and explain how the whole "comeback tour" is supposed to go. You had Michael Steele become the new head of the RNC, emerging from a slightly ponderous candidate pool as the first African-American elected to the position, you had continued punditing on the media crush on Rush Limbaugh, as he has recently found a way to turn his noise to 11, and more proof of the blind failing the GOP has been reduced to in sound-biting. There was no doubt more to cover this past week, but hell, if I wrote about the Republicans full-time, I'd probably develop an ulcer.

Andrew Card, former Bush Chief of Staff, made remarks earlier in the week regarding the level of respect President Obama is showing the job thus far. His problem seems to be that Obama is doing work in the Oval Office with his sleeves rolled up, or tieless, or some other form of casual. His complaint comes with a comparison of the level of respect Card believes that Presidents Ronald Reagan and both Bushes showed the Presidency, which he labels "tremendous." Sure, I guess if you were going to go with a dress code measuring stick, you might have an argument, but trying to talk of respect for the Presidency, when you were a top level lackey to the undisputed worst President in this country's history, is kind of like trying to hype a fighter while his ring crew is still trying to wake him up following a knockout.

Steele, who survived several rounds of voting, during which Mike Duncan dropped his bid to remain RNC chair, featured candidates who had to resign from a whites-only country club or who treated the election as the perfect CD release party for a racial parody song, is now off to a dubious start in his new role as one of the top Republican noise-holes: “You and I know that in the history of mankind and womankind, government—federal, state or local—has never created one job. It’s destroyed a lot of them.”

Yeah, Michael Steele, the new head of the Republican National Committee, and former Lieutenant Governor of Maryland, actually said that. Since there was no struggle to maintain a straight face mentioned in any account of the remark, it is fair to assume that he actually believes that. Without even getting into the ludicrous notion that government has never created a single job, this is ironic coming from the head of the RNC, given that our previous President, a Republican, created two notable jobs, the director of Homeland Security and the director of the White House Office of faith-based what the hell ever.

Puzzled, but hardly surprised by the maelstrom of attention given to Rush Limbaugh here in recent weeks. I was wondering how hard the far right-wing would strain, and seeing as how the rest the Republicans could do so far was criticize the occasionally casual workplace dress code and try and create an urban legend of political science, Limbaugh has clearly taken the lead. There's been all manner of spin on his `I want him to fail' statement, and why? His job is to whip up conservative interest and outrage, but now it's to rebuild confidence rather than confidently reassure. Obviously he wants Obama to fail, but he wants the Democrats to fail more. The concept of such failure leading to a Republican rebirth in the 2010 elections would allow Limbaugh to take partial, if not full credit for that, and at every opportunity he can possibly get his hands on. The fact mainstream media had paid it so much attention is merely helping Limbaugh draw in more suckers to listen to the 14 million suckers a week that listen to his show, which apparently warrants $38 million a year through 2016. Damn, that's not even Howard Stern money, and he draws not even a quarter of your audience.

At any rate, I hope the GOP gets amped up, and starts trying to offer more than whining about contraceptives and wardrobe choices. It may make sense, when you really get down to it, but why offer it as a marquee issue? It was weak, and it made them look not only like they were nitpicking, but like they didn't want anyone to get laid, either. Thanks to the recession, a lot of people are getting screwed, but why do they want to step in and stop people from being fucked?