Due to water damage to the production office from 2 storms last week, the episode of Probably Uncalled For scheduled for tomorrow night has been postponed. We will return live to the air next week at our regular night and time, Wednesday 8pm Eastern.

We appreciate your continued support, and look forward to having you back in our audience next week.

by Thomas Keister

When I first read of the latest efforts by anti-drug campaign Above the Influence to try and sell America on a marijuana-free lifestyle, I was reminded of the classic Lloyd Bridges moment from Airplane!, in which his character laments that it may have been the wrong week to stop smoking.

The funny part is, I actually did stop smoking this week. Had a hypnotherapy session this last Monday, and I have yet to smoke a cigarette since. I'm not going to say I haven't craved one once or twice, but all in all, I'm doing okay. The one thing I haven't done, nor will do in the foreseeable future, is quit smoking marijuana. Commercials have played absolutely no part in either of these decisions.

The decision to quit smoking was basically aggravation in part to President Obama's sideways lie that he was not going to raise taxes on most Americans. Thanks to that (just one of many reasons people are going to regret soon enough electing yet another soundbite President), the price of cigarettes and tobacco has shot through the roof.

Thank goodness for that. God knows the last thing we all wanted during this economic downturn was for small business to flourish. I personally know of one small smoke shop that had just relocated one door over to a bigger space right before the tax increase. I'm sure they are appreciative for the kneecapping their business just took, what with hiring a couple more employees and renovating and all that. The place looked nice as hell, even though I was only able to make two purchases there before the shot to my wallet meant saying goodbye to the habit altogether. Wonder how much longer the place is going to be open.

But, it was a fair enough move, when you really think about it. It was the only real way that anybody could come up with to make me even want to quit smoking tobacco, and the only way the U.S. government will be able to get me to stop smoking weed is to legalize it and then tax it the hell out of my price range, and even then, I wouldn't go all in on the betting. What the hell else will they be able to do, once they get their way, and nobody smokes, and we are all healthy as fucking horses trying to figure out where all that tax revenue went? Given the fact our President is more worried about "looking forward," whatever in the hell that's supposed to mean, the odds of marijuana getting legalized seem to be as likely as Obama ordering a torture investigation.

Anyhow, onto the commercials. Above the Influence, already notable for employing talking dogs and portraying pot smokers as slightly deflated people stuck on sofas, is trying a new approach, as they are taking it to the gamers themselves. Interesting niche to choose, but a niche nonetheless. The new ads feature characters from the popular MMO World of Warcraft talking about nearly being wiped out by their stoned real-life counterparts. Cute, and about as damn effective as "I didn't inhale," and everyone's all-time useless favorite "Just Say No." I wasn't impressed by Ozzy Osbourne arguing with some faceless director over who the real "Prince of Darkness" is, and this impresses me even less.

The best part is, the ads (print or televised) fail to mention any ties with smoking marijuana and video game skills. Perfect. As a matter of fact, this now impresses me even less than something involving Kelly Osbourne. If this is the best Above the Influence can bring to the table, maybe they should start trying to get people to buy into all this "change someone/anyone can believe" shit. It would probably be a lot more successful, and a hell of a lot less condescending at the same time. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm off to go smoke a fat bowl and beat Grand Theft Auto IV (XBox) again.

by Thomas Keister

Yeah, it looks like I picked the wrong week to stop smoking. Monday, yeah, no problem, the hypnotherapy worked great, still haven't had a cigarette yet, not even any cravings, at least until yesterday. That's when the people at High Park Apartments showed me they wouldn't even make plausible slum lords in East St. Louis.

Why, what happened yesterday, you ask? Glad you did. Earlier this week the same day I quit smoking), we had a pretty good rain, and a leak popped up, soaking about a quarter of the living room. Most of the water was coming in through the living room window (the apartment is partially below ground). She called the office, and the maintenance crew came over, moved some stuff, and plugged in a bigass fan and a dehumidifier to dry out the carpeting. They said they were getting right on the leak, so I figured, problem solved, right?

Never that easy.

The very same day they came and gathered up their stuff (after four days of listening to that shit run non-stop, my mom's nerves were a half-an-inch past the edge), they said they hopefully had everything straightened out. Yeah, hope may float, but thankfully, nothing in my mom's apartment does, as a quick but heavy rain yesterday not only reversed all the "progress" that had been made, but now, things were even worse.
 

by Thomas Keister

Yeah, okay...I think we get enough stories about the quality of the air we breath every week, month, year, or what have you, to fill a small annual digest for people to thump and demand changes.

Unfortunately, this story takes place in Spain, so any protestations regarding the air quality will ultimately have the same impact they would have here in the United States, slim to nil.

A recent study shows that the air in Madrid and Barcelona not only contains smog, but trace amounts of amphetamines, opiates, cannabinoids, lysergic acid, and most prominently, cocaine.

Well, then. Party time in Spain. Just how many drugs are done in Madrid and Barcelona were it just hangs in the fucking air? No damn wonder they are always so cool with the running of the bulls, plus, while we're on the subject, how the hell did they pull off holding an Olympic Games in Barcelona? I mean, how the hell did anyone pass a drug test? You can't tell me this is something that has just popped up overnight, this is something that had to build up over time.

Since this story broke, look for Barcelona and Madrid to be invaded in short order, by an unprecedented wave of douchebaggery...and the best part, they will be "relaxing" in the cool Spanish air...until the inevitable celebutard behavior breaks out.

by Thomas Keister

Isn't it amazing when everybody knows the dice are loaded, yet no one bats an eye when the United States keeping on throwing chips at the guys running the game?

Hiding under the atypical umbrella of anonymity, American officials are using the explosion of violence leaking over the Mexican border into our country as some form of proof the drug war is working, despite the fact the violence is escalating as a result of the ramped-up drug war efforts. Yes, indeed. This is a level of thinking that compares with being told that breaking both of your legs can improve your marathon time. This must be more of that "looking forward" shit I keep hearing about as our country continues to spiral down the porcelain.

Meanwhile, as our government continues to twiddle their thumbs in response to the third war they are managing to lose simultaneously, the former presidents of Brazil, Colombia, and Mexico convened the Latin American Commission on Drugs and Democracy, offering new tactics and suggestions on dealing with the current approach, which they called a failure.

Among those tactics, the Commission reckons, should be a "broad" debate, which includes decriminalization of cannabis for personal use and developing a "public health" approach, which would focus more on treatment and education, while using law enforcement to battle the organized crime front of the Drug War.

While I can't say I can't disagree with these three men, or their commission's stances, the cynic in me can't help but think that, if these three men had just "played ball" with the United States, they would probably still be El Presidente (or whatever the hell their official titles were), instead of playing it up on the lecture circuit. Where was this enlightened opinion of the drug war when they were in office? Oh yeah, they didn't want to cut off the flow of U.S. money coming into their countries to, uh...er..."help." Once you figure out a way to take U.S. "throwaway" money off the front line of the war on drugs, then you might even be able to convince Latin America to decriminalize marijuana, the "paradigm shift" the Commission so rightly calls for.

Come join us for another all-new episode of the Internet radio juggernaut, Probably Uncalled For! Tonight, Dr. Tom and ppdingles will be discussing having a case of the Mondays on Death Row, Sarah Palin's dumb ass getting a book deal, and so much TBA you won't know what to do with yourself! Phone lines and chat room open the duration of the broadcast.

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