by Inside the Squared Circle
 by Dr. Thomas Keister
Ah, yes...summer is here, and that can only mean one thing - the crazy is getting vine-ripe even faster than normal. Joe the Plumber, the most inexplicably famous person in perhaps the history of mankind was back in the news after not only suggesting that one could get a cap popped in their ass for saying "In God We Trust," but questioning why Senator Chris Dodd's goofy ass hasn't been lynched yet. Yeah, I hear ya. I, for one, would think that the tinfoil Samuel Wurzelbacher, Michelle Bachman, and Glenn Beck use to keep the liberal media from reading their minds would reflect a bit more heat, and these things wouldn't happen. No such luck here.
This is what happens when some jackhole becomes famous for saying stupid shit with even less of a mandate than our previous President. How does someone get away with calling for the lynching of a sitting United States Senator? Just throwing this out there, but why hasn't Joe the Plumber been shot, or "strung up," as he likes to offer for those in the way of his strange path. Don't get me wrong, Chris Dodd is a massive douchebag, and combined with his wife, may make for an even bigger douchebag power couple than the days of Mr. and Mrs. Mitch McConnell. Wurzelbacher complained in April at a Tea Party in Michigan that he and other protesters are being labeled as "extremists." You can thank public opinion for that faster than you can thank mainstream media. If there wasn't so much racist nonsense and other hardly credible talking points coming from what has become a lunatic right-wing fringe, maybe you wouldn't have so wide an area with which to reach out with your agenda, thanks to mainstream media calling you out on the asinine shit you say. Here's to hoping Wurzelbacher and his elk run out of ink sometime soon. It was funny for a while, but now it's kind of like a drunk clown at a kid's party...
Meanwhile, I have been sitting back, thoroughly enjoying the carnival attraction of South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford's slow implosion over some Argentinian poonani. You gotta give a guy credit for trying to disguise an affair as a hiking trip, but the latest gravy has been the refusal of his wife Jenny to simply stand in for photo ops and run the usual "working to make our family strong through this tough time" crap. Rather than play the game, Jenny Sanford instead commented that her husband's political career was "not a concern of mine," and her pulling through this, whether or not their marriage survives. Hell yeah, make that five days of crying like a punk mean something! I'm still waiting for Sanford, the latest member of the fraternity who got caught zipper down after chasing the impeachment of former President Bill Clinton, to play his next card...it's the anticipation that gets me...
For those who follow the political process a little closer than simply reading bumper stickers at long red lights, much fun has been had with the promise President Obama made to give the public a five-day window to review any non-emergency legislation. Yeah, you remember that, right? Same thing going down with the proposed health-care reform bill. Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid (D-NV) will not commit to giving senators, let alone the public a week to review the bill before it goes to a vote. I have always loved how this shit works. No one read it, but voting it in was a much-needed task to help this great country. It would be great to be able to make this up, but it would be even better if I were making this up. Something tells me the real question is going to be how many pages will it take to sum up "grab your ankles and your checkbook?"
by Korah Kay
It is very disheartening these days, with jobs as scarce as a hen's tooth, gas and groceries keep flucuating (usually upward, and for no good reason), and what's a person to do? Yet it seems that our elected, yeah, I said elected officials (elected by saps like us) can only fuss about being called "ma'am" instead of "senator" and sneaking off to Argentina to have an affair (I have heard of discretion, but were there honestly no mistresses in South Carolina???)
Mark Sanford, the governor of South Carolina (apparently when he feels like it) really takes the cake for unmitigated gall. At a time when the average citizen is having a hard enough time just making it to work without hitting up a loanshark for a full tank, he trapses off to Argentina to see his woman on the side. Way to rub it in, pal.
The soap opera this has touched off has gotten better by the day! Now we are supposed to believe that Sanford spent five of seven days with his mistress...crying? What can you expect from a guy who voted that former President Clinton should be impeached in the name of "moral legitimacy." Guess he figures Republicans are exempt from that need!
In a parallel story, you can pretty well guess who blew the whistle on Sen. John Ensign's (R-NV) affair. Senator, what put you in the mindset to screw a staffer then fire her husband? No seat belts or roll cage is going to protect you when karma flip over on you...
by ppdingles
I will be going to see movie this on Saturday but I grew up with the cartoon and the comic book. This was back in the day when cartoons kicked ass!! This was never intended to be for kids, it was intended for the age group that grew up with the original Transformers and those people are in their 30's now.
If you want your kids to watch Transformers, stick to the animated series on cartoon network.
I've seen a lot of reviews with people that don't quite understand the violence or other things in this film.
For those who don't remember Prime fully blasting Decepticons in the face, you obviously never saw the cartoon or the cartoon movie made in 1986. He kicked major ass and shot a crap load of them point blank and then proceeded to kick Megatron's ass as well. The tv cartoon had violence in almost every episode and yet I see reviews of how there is so many explosions and the action moves so fast. This isn't Twilight, it's a movie about very evil robots called Decepticons with no remorse for any life(even humans)trying to destroy and kill the Autobots, not just beat them up.
Remember how Megatron just ripped Jazz in half in the first film. That's how Megatron was in the show on tv and was even more lethal in the cartoon movie. In the cartoon movie he shot Ironhide in the face just because he could and killed him. This movie is meant to be violent and fast. It's the Transformers way.
For those who don't understand the plot, it is a comic book story and most of the comic book stories never made it into the cartoon or was completely seperate from the cartoon. If you didn't read the comic book then yeah I can see how you could be lost. This was in my opinion the best damn cartoon ever and to see it in real life on the big screen is a dream come true. And besides some movies you have to watch 3 or 4 times to fully appreciate.
by ppdingles
With the new Transformers movie set to hit theaters at midnight tonight, I did a web search and found some interesting things regarding Transformers. Some awesome and some not.
 Real life Transformers?
After the successful video game performances GAME OVER, seen by more than 12 millions people around the world, after winning a 2007 You Tube Video Award for creative content with the video-film Human TETRIS, the Swiss/French artist Guillaume Reymond presents a new amazing project:
TRANSFORMERS – Giant robots invade the Earth
This series of performances brings together different types of vehicles, gathering them according to a precise choreography, and creating what looks from the sky like gigantic robots.
 Transformers Shoes.
Of course they are smaller than normal shoes so you can't wear them(unless you have very tiny feet)but still a pretty cool item to have.
But not all is well in the Transformers universe. I found these during my web search as well. Lets pray these don't exist because face it, this shit is wrong.
Somethingawful.com reveals images of Transformers toys getting some feminine touch. I hope these are just prototypes and not selling in stores. I really don’t want to see my niece throwing away her Barbie dolls and start grabbing one of these transformers that transforms themselves into a pony, sewing machine, hairdryer, etc. And look what they did to Optimus Prime (last photo).  Are you shitting me? A sewing machine? What's next will Optimus Prime yell "Autobots, transform and....fix this tear in my shirt."
 This is just wrong. My little pony now can change into a Robot. Hell no. But it gets worse.
 This is really pushing it now. Megatron is a total Badass Motherfucker!!! Period!!! And now he is available to dry your hair with his laser cannon???
Somebody is gonna get a beat down, but wait the best(or worst)is yet to come.
 What the Fuck! A pink Optimus Prime.....with a blonde wig. This is BULLSHIT. How dare somebody disgrace the good Transformers name. Yes I understand the need to make the brand appeal to girls as well as boys but this is way too much! Some emo homo probably thought of all these as a way to get in touch with his feminie side. Die Motherfucker!!!
In closing I'm more excited about the new Transformers movie than I was the first time I got laid. Seriously! It will be the best movie of the summer and any sissy in front of me in line with a pink Optimus Prime will get my foot up his ass.
But I couldn't end this post on a sour note. Enjoy these super cool Transformers and the last one is designed for the ladies without any of the previous bullshit.
Now that's a Transformer I WANT to see the ladies play with.
 Here's just a little taste of what we're working on for this Wednesday night's all-new live episode of Probably Uncalled For:
Geek Squad Gone Wild
new Nanny State nonsense right here in the United States
The Worst Pirate Ever
Che Guevara's smokin' hot granddaughter
Perez Hilton catching an ass-beating
along with other vast and varied topics to be determined.
all-new episode live every Wednesday night
8pm Eastern/ 5pm Pacific
 by Thomas Keister So there I was, having what could by all definition be called a shitty afternoon, when the mail came. Troubles with the intro to the most recent episode of Probably Uncalled For, people griping on it, but I won't get into all that mess. Grabbing the mailbox key out of habit, I shuffled out to see who else was going to line up, via snail mail, to continue to crap all over the fuck over my day. Let's see...student loan shit. That went right into the wastebasket, Discover would like to know if I would like a subscription, which I do not, so that drove the student loan shit deeper into the trash. The new issue of Playboy had arrived! With Olivia Munn on the cover!! Oh, Happy Day!!! For those of you who are easily distracted by shiny things and reality fucking television, Olivia Munn is the smoking hot co-host of G4's popular Attack of the Show. And she was gracing the cover of Playboy. Maybe the day could be salvaged. Alas, it was not to be. Other than the cover, there was only one other picture of Ms. Munn, and to be honest, it was more suited to a Maxim or a FHM. But it lacked the usual...uh, how do you say...nudity of some form or fashion. I was, to be honest, puzzled. On to the rest of her photos at Playboy.comFifteen more pictures with the same results. Hmmm. Something seems amok in the machine. I mean, do not get me wrong here. The cover and all sixteen pictures were fantastic. This is in no way, shape, or form a criticism of Olivia Munn. If anything, I am impressed at the level of her management. The cover and photo shoot with Playboy and not even a single nipple makes it to the public. But when you could conceivably air the cover and every single published photo from the shoot on G4 itself, it doesn't quite seem, well... Playboy enough. How many freakin Pamela Anderson spreads (heh...spread) have I bore witness to well after being over her? More than damn enough, I'll put it that way. In the final wind-up, my day did get better, even if some things were ultimately left to the imagination...
by ppdingles
So I'm coming out of Bass Pro Shops when this young hottie walks up to me and asks if I want a Blow Job.
I kindly said NO as I got 10 more weeks of Unemployment left.
HAHA. Enjoy.
 by Thomas Keister Wow, I guess some Wednesday mornings are like that. Larry Wilder, a Jeffersonville attorney who represents that city's council as well as the Greater Clark County Schools, was found passed the fuck out curbside in his next door neighbor's trashcan, as pictured at left. That's either some damn fine partying there, or he completely misread the recycling brochure. Or he misread my 2006 book, Hungover on Tuesday. When police arrived, they declined to make an arrest, walking Wilder to his home, where his adult son and daughter were there to handle him from that point on. According to Jeffersonville Police Chief Tim Deeringer, no crime had been committed, and ultimately it's an officer's discretion on how to handle such a situation. Wilder, an attorney in private practice who is not a city employee, was the highest paid city attorney last year, pulling in $107,000. While Deeringer say a crime wasn't committed, I find it hard to believe someone working at Wal-Mart making $7 an hour would simply be walked home in a situation like that. Wilder may not be a city employee, but the high-priced connection certainly doesn't not provide a positive light here. Wilder has not been having a great deal of luck in recent months. His ex-wife, Peggy Wilder, the city's Clerk-Treasurer, has been accused of improperly using city credit cards, allegations he has repeatedly defended her against while they were married. Wilder has yet to comment publicly on this latest incident.
by Korah Kay
It has been commented on recently, by parties who shall remain nameless (the editors) that I have not been writing very much lately, and you know something, they are absolutely right.
It's just that everything was supposed to get better once we got rid of W and his gang. Sad to say, that didn't happen. Before we could get them out, the bottom fell out. Now we have an economy that will let you buy groceries or gas, but usually not both in great quantity. Government-types and economists say it's getting better - maybe for them...from what I can tell, they don't pay for much of anything anyway, so sure the economy is coming around.
In my little corner of the universe, however, it got so bad I had to quit smoking! 5 weeks and counting. Enjoy the loss of at least THOSE tax dollars from yours truly, so up yours, big government.
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