by Thomas Keister

Remember a couple of years ago, when Tonight Show host Conan O'Brien (then the host of Late Night) elicited minor controversy by performing a skit based on the plane crash from Lost at an award show shortly after a tragic air crash in Lexington, Kentucky? It seems O'Brien's luck in the friendly skies has not fared much better lately.

Making a joke on his show about Newark, New Jersey mayor Cory Booker's plan to improve the health of his city's residents (presumably by helping to cut the number who catch a bullet every year), O'Brien cracked that "the health care program would consist of a bus ticket out of Newark."

Ha. Good stuff. Reminds me of the old joke about the New York Giants and their new season ticket plan. First 60 people who order get a uniform and a helmet.

Booker responded in kind, with a humorous video. Booker first states his case that Newark is a city undergoing large growth and improvement across the board, and then employs a "man on the street" to gauge the take locals had on O'Brien's punchline.

One lady asks "who is Conan O'Brien?" Another gentleman has to be restrained, "outraged" that someone dare talk smack 'bout Newark, New Jersey.

Booker wrapped up his video mentioning that Newark also boasts ine of the largest airports in the nation, and using "the powers invested in him by the City of Newark," he officially placed the talk show host on the city's no-fly list, adding in a particularly tongue-in-cheek moment, "Try JFK, buddy."

Wow. Had no idea Cory Booker had such a great sense of humor. What a shame a good chunk of Huffington Post readers lack so much as a sliver of that sense of humor. Among the comments:

"...what a refreshing abuse of power."

"The mayor is out of line and I believe exceeds his dubious Constitutional authority."

"What an embarrassment this clown is."

Jesus Christ, people, really? Watch the video two or three more times, and it should be apparent to anyone who isn't in a persistent vegetative state or frothing at the mouth at some teabag festival that this was a joke. Plain and simple. Maybe Mayor Booker should have overreacted, like your Michelle Bachmans or your Sarah Palins. It can't possibly be easy to be an elected official in a state as notably corrupt as New Jersey (disclosure: I grew up in Illinois, so it's not like I am unfamiliar with corruption), so if you can take a minute or two to fire a joke right back and keep everything light-hearted, more power to you.

by Thomas Keister

You gotta give it up for superior German engineering and or know-how. Matthias Krankl decided one day it would be perfectly spiffy to convert a beer crate into a miniature ATV.

Not even sure how exactly he went about it, but as you can tell by the picture, it was an unlikely success, and one that would elevate Krankl into the pantheon of German law enforcement lore.

Somehow, Krankl managed to build the cratemobile so well that he actually broke a local speed limit before attempting to outrun police in Maulberg, Germany. The one-cylinder vehicle was promptly confiscated by authorities, who noted the crate's modifications "looked like a lot of fun," among other things.

Yeah, something tells me the police in Maulberg got a few crates of their own while taking this little son of a bitch for laps around the police station parking lot. God knows I would.

By Inside the Squared Circle,

The North Carolina Education Lottery unveiled a new scratch-off ticket featuring pro wrestler Ric Flair.

"Wooooooo!" is a $5 scratch-off ticket. The game features eight top prizes of $100,000 and over 500,000 prizes between $10 and $200. Players have 16 chances to win on each ticket, which corresponds with Flair's 16 championship belts.

Who would of ever thought we would see this. The legendary Ric Flair gracing the cover of a $5 lottery ticket. I would buy two of these. One to scratch and one to keep. Of course with my luck the one I don't scratch is the one that's a big winner.

Oh well, at least they spelled WOOOOOO right.

By Inside the Squared Circle,

Full replay of this past week's WWE Superstar's.

by Inside the Squared Circle,

Full replay of this past week's ECW.

by Thomas Keister

Basically, my mood remains the same from last night when we brought this story up at the beginning of Probably Uncalled For...if I paid $63,500 for an evening with Sarah Palin, she would damn sure be cleaning the bathroom and the kitchen before we shot a humiliation porn video for future DVD release. Drilled, Baby, Drilled sounds like a great title to me. Idiots got way more money than sense if THAT's who they are gonna pay to hang out with them...when you are ready to shoot that movie, Mrs. Palin, give our people a call.

Any facility, any state, any country, anywhere, that allows a schizophrenic murderer to take a personal day at a county fair?...yeah, they need to take those in charge, and make THEM keep an eye on the psychos at an amusement park for a day, with the likely sub-par wages their employees normally make, and then we'll see how many nutcases get the "model patient" label stuck to them. This is easily one of the dumbest fucking things I have ever heard of, and every idiot from Eastern State Hospital in Washington that was involved with this should definitely be looking for another job...maybe at the drive-up window, something that will better harness their snap judgement abilities...

If you are going to commit suicide by throwing yourself in front of a train, please do everyone the favor of finding one made in this century, cause they will probably do the job a little better than the train that simply bumped a guy out of the way in Lodi, California last week. The cow catcher rolled him to safety, traveling a blistering 15 MPH. Seriously, you found a train with a cow catcher? What, did you find the one part of California that still has gold rush fever. What the fuck is this, 1885?

How did a guy named Shorty Smoothe NOT wind up on a VH-1 show involving reality show gutter skank New York?...it's a fucking outrage, people...

The fact that Twitter, despite never having made so much as a single nickel, is supposedly valued at $1 billion...yeah, I said it last night, I will say it again here...the beginning of the next dot com bust. Ask your 401K people how much of your money has been flushed down the porcelain as "venture capital" for a website that offers absolutely NOTHING revolutionary, other than real time updates from Ashton Kutcher and Kayne West furthering their douchebag credentials. Naturally, you can follow us here on Twitter @freereinmedia...

Thought it was really amusing that fans of the Insane Clown Posse in communities in four states are now considered validated gang members. I knew, sooner or later, that having little to no taste was going to wind up being a crime someday...

I know I have a tendency to make fun of electric or hybrid cars, but Nissan putting the "Blade Runner" sound effect on their upcoming Leaf vehicle is flat fucking awesome. Too bad it will probably cost $50 grand...

Teen girls accused of squeezing muffins? Still hot, no matter how times I hear it...too bad there was no video...would have been even better if they were accused of squeezing the spotted dick in the very next story we covered...

Finally, kudos to the man with the biggest balls in all of Greece, for growing pot in the grass median on the country's main highway. We aren't talking tiny little starter plants, we're talking nearly six foot tall plants, over three dozen of them, and the guy made no effort to hide them. Wow. I use this joke a lot, but apparently, this is what happens in Greece when the police skip practice...

Don't forget to catch all new episodes of Probably Uncalled For, live every Wednesday night, 11pm Eastern Daylight Time. A complete archive of episodes is available at BlogTalkRadio.com/ ProbablyUncalledFor

Join Dr. Thomas Keister and ppdingles for another all-new episode of the internationally acclaimed talk radio hit, live as always on Blog Talk Radio! Topics include epic fails in suicide, exercising your 2nd Amendment rights, and sex toys, Sarah Palin, racism charges from Michael Steele, and the other fantastic and mystical topics to be determined, but let's be honest...we had you at "epic fail with a sex toy," didn't we? Phone lines and chat room open the duration of the broadcast! Come find out what an earful of AWESOME sounds like!

by ppdingles,

Ladies and Gentlemen, this is the image of what Jeff Hardy will look like in the slammer to all the ass hungry convicts.

And this is the image that hundreds of emo kids have been masturbating to wishing it was real. Real that either Jeff Hardy was amine or had tits. Take your pick.

All I see is the bitch he is.

That is all.

by Thomas Keister

Yeah, in response to the whole Jeff Hardy Twibbon scene we have had break out, I have taken it upon myself to create the flip side of the coin.

I, on behalf of Free Rein Media, LLC, hereby present the "Fuck Jeff Hardy" Twibbon. You can either get it at Twibbon or right here, by clicking on the lil' Jeff Hardy icon to the right of the page. I look forward to updating you all on the number of followers we rack up with this campaign.

by Inside the Squared Circle,

Full replay from last Friday's WWE Smackdown.