by Thomas Keister

This week's WWE action kicked off with Chris Jericho picketing the show, trying to garner signatures for a petition to bring him back to RAW. Given what we have seen on Monday nights the past few weeks, the first question I would have for Jericho is why in God's name would you want to?

Naturally, as John Cena was already in this week's main event, he hit the ring for a patented 20 minute promo. It was hardly surprising that Cena ended the promo by putting Sheamus through the table, but thankfully, that also told me he would not be relegating the Irishman to the Transitional Champions bin just yet.

We then got to see guest host Timbaland for the first time, and he looked just as excited to be there as I was to be watching RAW this week. That is not a complement.

Once again, Randy Orton was dealing out ultimatums to Legacy's Ted DiBiase and Cody Rhodes, in advance of their singles matches, telling them a loss means the end of their run with the trio. This is the second or third time Orton has played this card, and it's hard to see how this serves any of the three men well. All the great stables throughout history are known for one thing above all else, and that is cohesion, and I have never been able to get fully behind Legacy for just that reason.

Here I was thinking that the Maryse-Kelly Kelly match was going to be a typical beer match. Well, I was right, but extra credit this week to Maryse for her pin cover. Easily the best part of RAW. Not because I have Jerry Lawler's Puppy Fanaticism syndrome, but because it was a moment for the adults who remember the good old days before they cranked the PG dial to one notch shy of "Saturday morning cartoon show."

Chris Jericho and The Big Show then met up outside the arena, where Show's "moving on" speech to Jericho was the funniest moment of the evening. Yep, no midgets, no Bella twins incessantly doing that dime-store "Go Daddy" wiggle, no merch plugs, just some funny dialogue. The ringside ticket angle was readily identifiable, but at least it showed a little effort to try some wrestling related camera work.

Yeah, Vince confirmed Bret Hart guest hosting the January 4 RAW and yes, Shawn Michaels continues to press his case for a WrestleMania rematch with The Undertaker, but why did it feel like Vince was guest hosting "The Abraham Washington Show?" When even Vince looks like he is phoning it in, do you need any more of an excuse to clean house of all the "Hollywood" writers?

I was going to mention the DX-Show/Chavo match, but I have a strict "Hornswoggle-free" rule in this column. The only feature of the match really worth mentioning was the "ringside ticket" angle played out by Show and Jericho. Old school touch for a new school train wreck, which is what this match became one the wee folk started springing up from under the ring.

The only thing that saved the main event was the DQ finish. It's getting harder to watch a Cena match day by day, but oddly enough, watching John Cena matches makes it easier to watch old Ultimate Warrior matches. Yeah, I don't know if that's a good or a bad thing, either...

RAW Results
- Ted DiBiase defeated Evan Bourne by pinfall
- Cody Rhodes defeated Mark Henry by pinfall
- Maryse defeated Kelly Kelly by pinfall
- Kofi Kingston defeated U.S. Champion The Miz in a non-title match, then defeated The Miz in a U.S. title match by DQ when Randy Orton attacked Kingston
- Unified Tag Team Champions D-Generation X defeated The Big Show and Chavo Guerrero
- John Cena defeated WWE Champion Sheamus by DQ when Sheamus yanked the referee to the mat countering an Attitude Adjustment.

Bottom Line: F. Two hours and change of airtime, and you shoehorn six matches into less than seventeen minutes of airtime? I would rather RAW stick to their new "Mad TV" format and have three matches a week than have every match on the card UNDER five minutes! I know some backyard mooks who could have put together a more coherent line-up than what we got here tonight. My joke used to be there was hope if a worker was guest hosting, but anymore, it's all punchline and no set-up. Maybe next week will be different with Hart, but somehow, I'm not optimistic...

by Free Rein Media,

Click the picture for the story.

Saying the year "2010" out loud is bizarre, especially since we still don’t ride around in flying cars. But where science has failed us, video games have not. The past decade has been gaming's greatest: ten solid years filled with spectacular technological feats, record-setting sales and, of course, awesome, awesome games. Some, however, are more awesome than others. Taking quality, influence, sales and general greatness into account, here are our picks for the top ten titles released between 2000 and 2009.

by Free Rein Media,

Three new T-Shirts have just been made available for purchase from Free Rein Media Creations.

Click the picture of the shirt of your choice for more information.

A Christmas gift to you from Free Rein Media.

Episode #101

Tonight we discuss Bret Hart signing with WWE, More TNA vs WWE on our countdown to January 4th, 2010, proof we don't need to see another Cena vs Orton match and Douchebags from MTV and ESPN talking out their ass. Along with Ringside Chat, and The Weird News Top 5. All this and more tonight.

by Thomas Keister

When I first heard about a "Fan Night" promotion involving Vanilla Ice, I had to admit, my first thought was the worst guest-hosted Monday Night RAW ever was on the horizon, that is, unless Levi Johnston's phone rings. Instead, I find that the Toronto Raptors NBA franchise are going to bring him in to perform at halftime on February 3. This is how fans are rewarded for supporting the NBA in Toronto, is it? Guess this will be the springboard to Ice's role in a Super Bowl commercial for a service that lets you sell your plasma online...

Al Bundy would have been so proud: A man in England has been sentenced to three years on a manslaughter charge after killing his wife with a remote control. The remote hit a weak artery, triggering a massive brain hemorrage. Next time, just watch Dancing with the Stars in the other damn room...

I wonder, in Clark County, Wisconsin, are they for one welcoming their new bovine overlords? According to new numbers from the National Agricultural
Statistic Service (which must look as boring as hell on a business card as it did when I typed it), there are nearly twice as many cows (69,000) as people
(34,000) in the county. What confuses me is the fact Clark County has more cows than any other county in the state, yet they rank second in milk production.

What the hell? Guess the cows in Marathon County want it more...

A Public Service Announcement from Free Rein Media.

by Thomas Keister

So now I guess there is going to be a war on incense...two Sarasota, Florida high schoolers pulled an epic fail worthy of an American Pie flick when they  wound up in the hospital after smoking a "popular mix of herbs" sold under the name K2. While the mix is marketed as mimicing the effects of marijuana, the stuff is sold as incense and is therefore not something you are supposed to roll a joint of and light up. Even if you think it would make a great YouTube  clip. Oh yeah, and the freaking package said it was incense, and literally said "not for human consumption" on the label.

The Sarasota County Sheriff's Office is now asking parents to talk with their children about K2. Cause God knows now everyone is gonna want to run out and  smoke a pipe full of freakin incense. You can only imagine the popularity level of the two dingbats that got sick over this, as I am positive one or two kids  from that high school got sat down for "the talk" from their parents, about the evils of incense. Wonder if Obama will appoint an Incense czar? Or would that be the Director of the White House Office of Air Freshener Affairs?...

...Not that this is dumb, but at least just as stupid, is the news that random drug tests will begin at this year's World Pie Eating Championship in Greater  Manchester. This actually may be one of the absolute saddest damn things I have ever read. And I've occasionally covered Jon and Kate on my radio show. If it doesn't get any sadder (read pathetic) than Jon and Kate, I pray it does not get a half season committment from E!

Anyhow, back to the competitive eaters. Random drug tests? These are to prevent what Championships Executive President Tony Callaghan calls a lubricative advantage. Frankly, I am shocked. I always figured the phrase "lubricative advantage" would be applied in an oral sex kind of way. Now, all I see is some 240  pound barrel of crap eating a bar of Crisco so the freakin six inch hoagie slides down his gullet like a log in a wood chipper. And he gets a fucking trophy for it.

The facepalm moment in this story occurs when one learns they are testing for cough mixture, which I can only assume is across the pond for freakin  Robitussin. This can allow a gaping maw to suck a pie down up to two whole seconds quicker, according to Callaghan. Two. Damn. Seconds. Damn you, Tiger Woods, your dalliances have pushed far more deserving sports news, like the Tussin scandal in championship competitive eating, right off the front page. Hope that sampler pack of schoochie was worth it...

by Thomas Keister

I was greatly amused by the story of two men colliding in a Brooklyn Heights Starbucks recently. Apparently, one gentlemen was irritated that the other was apparently doing nothing to control his fussing infant while waiting for his order.

While I can sympathize with the man over a parent ignoring their children when they are off the hook, fussy, or whatever the hell you want to call it, the real story here is shouldn't both men have been slapped for handing over good money for overpriced and underwhelming coffee. What's next, a knife fight breaking out at some spa over a "man-cation" gone awry?...

They say English can be one of the most difficult languages on earth to learn. Sometimes, I wish I didn't know it after reading the latest from Sweden. A sexual rights group (probably the code name for a bunch of people who don't get laid) have determined that "hymen" is no longer the appropriate term to use for that certain part of the female anatomy. This is the result of a crusade to dispell misconceptions about the hymen and virginity. The new preferred nomenclature? Vaginal corona.

Yeah, I hear ya. Sounds like the worst microbrew on the international menu at your local beerhaus. A short and curly in every bottle. Somehow, I just do not think the phrase "I totally exploded her vaginal corona last night" will catch on, even at the lowest grade Swedish community college on nickel beer night. Sometimes, a cherry really is just a cherry, regardless of the linguistics involved...

Except when you are in Britain, that is. A 19-yr-old in Atherton got slapped with a four month sentence for carrying a Batman souvenir knife. The man said he was carrying the knife for protection after taking out another man's ex. This was probably for the best. I mean, if you are carrying a Batman knife for protection, you need to be locked up for YOUR own protection. Besides, the guy could have had worse. If it had been a Batman Forever knife, he could have gotten a life sentence...