by Thomas Keister

When I first heard about a "Fan Night" promotion involving Vanilla Ice, I had to admit, my first thought was the worst guest-hosted Monday Night RAW ever was on the horizon, that is, unless Levi Johnston's phone rings. Instead, I find that the Toronto Raptors NBA franchise are going to bring him in to perform at halftime on February 3. This is how fans are rewarded for supporting the NBA in Toronto, is it? Guess this will be the springboard to Ice's role in a Super Bowl commercial for a service that lets you sell your plasma online...

Al Bundy would have been so proud: A man in England has been sentenced to three years on a manslaughter charge after killing his wife with a remote control. The remote hit a weak artery, triggering a massive brain hemorrage. Next time, just watch Dancing with the Stars in the other damn room...

I wonder, in Clark County, Wisconsin, are they for one welcoming their new bovine overlords? According to new numbers from the National Agricultural
Statistic Service (which must look as boring as hell on a business card as it did when I typed it), there are nearly twice as many cows (69,000) as people
(34,000) in the county. What confuses me is the fact Clark County has more cows than any other county in the state, yet they rank second in milk production.

What the hell? Guess the cows in Marathon County want it more...