by Thomas Keister

And you wonder why print journalism is on such shaky legs...I give to you the "Quote of the Day" from the January 16 Louisville Courier-Journal:

"It (Maybelline Great Lash Mascara) goes on clean and thick and doesn't clump when I curl my lashes after applying it...and it's inexpensive." - Amanda Seyfried

Brilliance. Sheer, unadulterated fucking brilliance. The Bard couldn't have said it better. This is the kind of topic relevance one could only associate with the co-star of Jennifer's Body. When are we going to get to the timely, the pithy, the most quotable of quotable- you know, some shit like Paris Hilton asking what island Haiti is located on. Shit like that. And you thought the advice columns in newspapers were stupid...