by Dr. Thomas Keister

As far as Republican scandals of late go, this is pretty mild, all things considered. That doesn't mean it's not bullshit, but at least no one was paid off, propositioned, or shot in the face this  time. Over in Arizona, Brett Mecum was arrested at party headquarters May 6 on charges of reckless driving and criminal speeding. Mecum, the executive director of the Arizona  Republican Party, was clocked by a speed camera on April 10 driving 109 miles per hour. Mecum did his level-headed best to non-answer the charges, saying he was reviewing the  evidence against him, and has yet to decide how to plead. If I may be so bold as to offer a suggestion, how's about on your knees, with lots of woeful sobbing and wailing? It may not get  you off in court, but I'd pay, er...donate good money to some victim's fund in Arizona to watch video of that on YouTube. Do you understand? I would give money to watch Brett Mecum  humilate himself on video for the world's enjoyment.

And now, for the rub. The Maricopa County Attorney's Office hasn't figured out whether or not whether or not to pursue the charges. Why the hell not, exactly, has not been established  at present. Michael Anthony Scerbo, a yeshole for the office, could not confirm if they had received the charges. I would ask what the hell the holdup is, but odds are, they would  probably tell me, then I would immediately regret asking the damn question in the first place. More to the point, I think we already know the answer to the question anyhow.

As bad as this story already is, it continues to spiral in for a bad landing, as the politicians themselves have started yakking. State Rep. Sam Crump (R-Predictably) said Mecum could  have a "reasonable excuse" for driving so fast. Yeah, like piloting the pace car at Talladega, perhaps, but Brett Mecum is not, at least presumably, the executive director of the Arizona  Republican Party by day, and a vigilante crime fighter by night. It might also be mentioned that Crump is sponsoring legislation that would ban speed cameras from state highways. State Rep. Eric Meyer (D-isbelief), an opponent of the proposed bill, responded to Crump's facepalm statement by saying that no one should drive faster than 100 miles per hour, even in emergency  situations.

The Maricopa County Attorney's Office has a clear cut obligation to bring charges against Mecum for his actions. Anything else would send a message that anyone, man, woman, adult  child, severe brain trauma patient could see at a thousand yards on a cloudy day. Even if you don't give Mecum any jail time, at least keep the YouTube idea in mind. That whole 'wearing  a "I'm a (insert crime here)" sign' thing has been played way the fuck out.