by Thomas Keister

To clarify, I am not what you could call a giant fan of tennis. I have played on occasion (although not in probably the last ten or eleven years), and once upon various times dated chicks who looked really good when they pulled on a tennis skirt. To further clarify, probably the only thing left that I like about tennis is hot tennis chicks. With that said, this is Simona Halep, a professional tennis player from Romania. Yeah, I hear ya. Nice.

Halep, a 17-year old Wimbledon hopeful currently checking in at #317th in the world, recently set off a storm of attention when she announced she is going to undergo breast reduction surgery. Apparently, the 34DD rack she's sportin' on the court has made it difficult at times to remain at the top of her game. "The breasts make me uncomfortable when I play." That has every bit of potential to be a major understatement. I'm sure quite a few men, and some of the ladies, to be fair, get just a bit "uncomfortable" when Halep is running back and forth in the course of a match.

The reaction has been swift from her fans, as they have crowded around each other to sign an online petition to help "Save Simona Halep's Boobs." I haven't checked yet, but I would be surprised if there wasn't already a Facebook group dedicated to this, uh...cause. (upon checking, the largest of the groups sports 1,019 members). It'll be a shame to see them go, more or less. I'm not going to fault Halep for her decision, as I'm sure the stress on her back during a match speaks for itself, but still...total damn shame. I mean, the least she could have done is waited until she turned eighteen and posed for Hef, something that could have benefited all of mankind (and some of womankind, to be fair).

Time, things, and people change. Can't stop it. Hell, they tore down the House Babe Built, and replaced it with an overpriced temple to mediocrity. One of Halep's fans decried this as a "crime against nature." Fair enough, but sometimes, buddy, even crime can be necessary. At least we'll always have these pics to remember them by...