by Dr. Thomas Keister

Ah, yes...summer is here, and that can only mean one thing - the crazy is getting vine-ripe even faster than normal. Joe the Plumber, the most inexplicably  famous person in perhaps the history of mankind was back in the news after not only suggesting that one could get a cap popped in their ass for saying "In God We Trust," but questioning why Senator Chris Dodd's goofy ass hasn't been lynched yet. Yeah, I hear ya. I, for one, would think that the tinfoil Samuel Wurzelbacher, Michelle Bachman, and Glenn Beck use to keep the liberal media from reading their minds would reflect a bit more heat, and these things  wouldn't happen. No such luck here.

This is what happens when some jackhole becomes famous for saying stupid shit with even less of a mandate than our previous President. How does someone get away with calling for the lynching of a sitting United States Senator? Just throwing this out there, but why hasn't Joe the Plumber been shot, or "strung  up," as he likes to offer for those in the way of his strange path. Don't get me wrong, Chris Dodd is a massive douchebag, and combined with his wife, may  make for an even bigger douchebag power couple than the days of Mr. and Mrs. Mitch McConnell. Wurzelbacher complained in April at a Tea Party in Michigan  that he and other protesters are being labeled as "extremists." You can thank public opinion for that faster than you can thank mainstream media. If there  wasn't so much racist nonsense and other hardly credible talking points coming from what has become a lunatic right-wing fringe, maybe you wouldn't have so  wide an area with which to reach out with your agenda, thanks to mainstream media calling you out on the asinine shit you say. Here's to hoping Wurzelbacher  and his elk run out of ink sometime soon. It was funny for a while, but now it's kind of like a drunk clown at a kid's party...

Meanwhile, I have been sitting back, thoroughly enjoying the carnival attraction of South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford's slow implosion over some  Argentinian poonani. You gotta give a guy credit for trying to disguise an affair as a hiking trip, but the latest gravy has been the refusal of his wife  Jenny to simply stand in for photo ops and run the usual "working to make our family strong through this tough time" crap. Rather than play the game, Jenny  Sanford instead commented that her husband's political career was "not a concern of mine," and her pulling through this, whether or not their marriage  survives. Hell yeah, make that five days of crying like a punk mean something! I'm still waiting for Sanford, the latest member of the fraternity who got  caught zipper down after chasing the impeachment of former President Bill Clinton, to play his next card...it's the anticipation that gets me...

For those who follow the political process a little closer than simply reading bumper stickers at long red lights, much fun has been had with the promise  President Obama made to give the public a five-day window to review any non-emergency legislation. Yeah, you remember that, right? Same thing going down with the proposed health-care reform bill. Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid (D-NV) will not commit to giving senators, let alone the public a week to review the bill before it goes to a vote. I have always loved how this shit works. No one read it, but voting it in was a much-needed task to help this great country. It would be great to be able to make this up, but it would be even better if I were making this up. Something tells me the real question is going to be how many pages will it take to sum up "grab your ankles and your checkbook?"