by Thomas Keister

Lord knows I enjoy a good facepalm moment, but I wasn't even sure where to begin with KFC's new Double Down sammich, the jump the shark moment in fast food.

If you are not familiar with this amazing concept, the Double Down (pictured at left) is two slices of bacon, a slice of cheddar, a slice of pepper jack, and the Colonel's secret sauce (whatever the hell that is...wasn't aware the Colonel had a secret sauce), all helpfully wedged between two pieces of chicken. That is it. No bun.

Okay. Not like I am going to nitpick and name the bun as an ingredient, but then again, doesn't common sense tell you the sandwich is supposed to have fucking bread?!? Thankfully, KFC and common sense are not notorious running buddies. Except when they fight with PETA's dumbass. That shit cracks me up.

Even though I think this is the single dumbest sandwich idea this kind of a minor league ballpark's promotional brainchild, remarkably this is not the dumbest thing KFC has sprung on the unwitting public as of late. I give you their boneless chicken filet, served in a little box thing so you can eat it with your hands. KFC called this one of the new products they are trying out.

Yes. You read that right. KFC put a piece of chicken in a french fry box, and they are calling it a product. The fuck? This is not a product, this is apparently what happens when a restaraurant chain buys too many french fry boxes. Of course, they market it as KFC chicken you can eat with your hands, but then again, what the hell kind of chicken can you not eat with your hands? Not to generalize the entire customer base of KFC, but honestly, how high do you think the percentage is of customers that would eat the fucking gravy with their hands (if they weren't sure nobody was watching)?

Then again, I suppose this will suffice as the dumbest fucking item in the fast food universe, at least until Taco Bell unleashes the Drinkable Nachos (w/Xtra wide straw) upon us, that is...