Yeah, so the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame inductions were last night, and as I have said pretty much every year since they opened the doors on the place, yawn.
Rock & Roll Hall of Fame my balls. ABBA and Blondie are in the Hall of Fame, but not Stevie Ray Vaughn, Cheap Trick, Rush, or KISS. The place is a parody, a missing joke from the cutting room floor of a Spinal Tap bit (even they should be in the HoF instead of freakin' ABBA!).
So the big news was the absence of Guns N' Roses frontman Axl Rose, who had declined the honor in an open letter earlier in the week. Alterbridge vocalist Myles Kennedy filled in for the band's set (nothing new for those who have seen him perform with Slash on past shows), but it was crystal clear the audience was unimpressed with the latest "no one freakin' asked" primadonna pose from Axl Rose. Whatever. I mean, even if the guy showed, he'd run 45 minutes late, then actually pop up on stage for five or ten before waddling back to the green room to tell Lana Del Ray more about what it's like to be famous...
And why would they be impressed? Why should they be impressed. Perhaps no one in the entire history of recorded music is as smug a reminder of buying into your own hype as Axl Rose. Perhaps no one personifies having it all, then collapsing under the weight of his own self-importance.
Then again, I'm hardly the only one with this basic opinion. This is pretty much a no-brainer for anyone who grew up in the 80s and beyond. Even Donald Trump holds pretty much the same opinion as I (proof he's smarter than he looks?).
Then again, out of all the acts inducted, the only two that could perform (as intended) were the Red Hot Chili Peppers and Donovan (Donovan?!?). I'm not going to dog those who couldn't make it from illness, like Rod Stewart or Adam Yauch, but Donovan? It's too bad the induction ceremony is being shown May 5 (heavily edited as always) on HBO, as A) I will in all likelihood be attending some form of Kentucky Derby party, and B) I don't subscribe to HBO, so I can't scan the crowd for disappointed faces from making it to a once-in-a-lifetime event, only to have it suck harder than a VH1 Divas concert.
Anyhow, on to next year, when they will probably end up inducting a veritable who's who of why's that again?, with potential candidates including:
Edie Brickell & New Bohemians
Maybe I'll get lucky, and whoever the crap-throwing yokels are who determine the nominees will get two right: Living Colour (a must!) or King's X (longshot from hell). Then again, judging from this year's fiasco, I'd have a better shot at winning a Mega Millions jackpot...or discovering a new planet.