Shorty Awards: What's your best tweet?
Thomas Keister: Twilight's Robert Pattinson, in Details magazine interview: "I really hate vaginas." Dare I say the least surprising quote of the year race is over?...
SA: What are six things you could never do without?
TK: Family, friends, pot, free will, metal, and muff diving
SA: How do you use Twitter in your professional life?
TK: Check @thomaskeister and find out...
SA: Twitter or Facebook?
SA: What feature should Twitter add?
TK: An accurate crystal ball, or a time machine.
SA: Who do you wish had a Twitter feed but doesn't?
TK: my hottest fan...
SA: What are some words or phrases you refuse to shorten for brevity?
TK: Does it matter? They'll edit Mark Twain, they'll edit anybody...
SA: Is there someone you want to follow you who doesn't already? If so, who?
TK: Bruce Campbell
SA: Why should we vote for you?
TK: A vote for me is like a vote for the hottest chick at the Wet T-Shirt contest. The one you know if you got drunk enough, you could score...
SA: Terms you wish would start trending on Twitter right now?
SA: Hashtag you created that you wish everyone used?
SA: How do you make your tweets unique?
TK: With an intense regimen of training and pain...lots of pain. Ever see Solider? Great flick- it's kind of like the beginning of Soldier.
SA: What inspires you to tweet?
TK: Pot, booze, hot chicks on Bardstown Rd, cops driving 70MPH in downtown Louisville, the people who love me and the critics who hate me...
SA: Ever get called out for tweeting too much?
TK: Ever get called out for asking this stupid question a second year in a row?
SA: 140 characters of advice for a new user?
TK: Never forget. Twitter is cool and all, but stay grounded, and most importantly, you never go Ass to Twitter.
SA: How long can you go without a tweet?
TK: Somewhere between eight seconds and three days past forever...
SA: What question are we not asking here that we should?
TK: Why haven't you tweeted any nudes of yourself?
SA: How do you imagine Twitter changing? Slowly, with a come hither look in it's eyes...then the Fail TK: Whale cockblocks the whole process...
SA: Who do you admire most for his or her use of Twitter?
TK: Captain Hook. The guy has ruined more keyboards, yet still he plugs away...
SA: Who is the funniest person on Twitter that you follow?
TK: Me. I barely know who all I'm following, so I gotta go with the default setting on this one.
SA: What is one of the biggest misconceptions of Twitter?
TK: That it spiral slices a nice ham.
SA: Why should people follow you?
TK: Because I'm tall, good-looking, great in bed, absolutely fucking brilliant, and above all else...humble.
SA: Can you name some one-of-a-kind Twitter accounts that you follow?
SA: How do you decide what to tweet?
TK: If it fits, and it makes at least 51% sense...it's in...
SA: Why'd you start tweeting?
TK: It's cheaper than heroin.
SA: What do you wish people would do more of on Twitter?
TK: Pornography through American sign language via TwitPic
SA: How will the world change in the next year?
TK: Crop droughts will be a thing of the past with new House Speaker John Boehner's crying jags...
SA: What will the world be like 10 years from now?
TK: A decade older and one step away from Idiocracy.