Shorty Awards: What's your best tweet?
Dr. Thomas Keister: The one I have yet to write.
SA: What are six things you could never do without?
DTK: Family, friends, internet access, free will, heavy metal, and pot.
SA: What's your favorite Twitter app?
DTK: Depends. Does the hashmark count as an app?
SA: Twitter or Facebook?
SA: What feature should Twitter add?
DTK: An all you can eat sushi bar. I feel like having a California roll.
SA: Who do you wish had a Twitter feed but doesn't?
DTK: Elvis' ghost. Love to hear his thoughts on reality TV, if I could hear them over him shooting out his TV, that is.
SA: What are some words or phrases you refuse to shorten for brevity?
DTK: All of them. I respect the vowel, people, and I intend to use them.
SA: Is there someone you want to follow you who doesn't already? If so, who?
DTK: Ric Flair.
SA: Have you ever unfollowed someone? Who and why?
DTK: Yes. I can't be sure, but I think it was whoever came up with this question.
SA: Why should we vote for you?
DTK: You probably wasted a vote on Obama. Waste one on me. At least I can't spend $14 trillion of your money if I win this.
SA: Terms you wish would start trending on Twitter right now?
SA: What's the most interesting connection you've made through Twitter?
DTK: That I'm just as funny in short form as when I write 750 words.
SA: How do you make your tweets unique?
DTK: That's not sour cream and onion you taste. It's the care I put into typing my thoughts at SMS length.
SA: What inspires you to tweet?
DTK: Politics, news, weird news, stupid news, being under the influence of one or more intoxicants...
SA: Ever get called out for tweeting too much?
DTK: If I may use some bad grammar...ahem...Ain't no one call ME out!
SA: 140 characters of advice for a new user?
DTK: Never wind up in a dark room with Paris Hilton and a video camera. The sales may be great, but the rash lasts forever...
SA: What question are we not asking here that we should?
DTK: Did you save your ticket stub from the donkey show?
SA: Who do you admire most for his or her use of Twitter?
DTK: Can you really admire someone for tweeting? Go cure a freakin' disease or something.
SA: Why'd you start tweeting?
DTK: Everyone was doing it, and it didn't involve jumping from a bridge.
SA: What do you wish people would do more of on Twitter?
DTK: Pantomime. Lets see you walk against the wind in 140 characters.
SA: How will the world change in 2010?
DTK: Not for the better, I am afraid.
SA: What are some big Twitter faux pas?
DTK: As long as you don't Godwin your point, is there really such a thing?
SA: What will the world be like 10 years from now?
DTK: Hotter, poorer, and still waiting for change from Obama.